Oh Darling... give us a hug!
Redeemed and reunited with Moyo...
Hello dear Readers,
I am so excited to tell you my recent story! My heart is still tumbling in my chest, brimming with happiness! I had one of those “moments in time” when I visited Panda Masuie, our release project, in Victoria Falls, last week.
I wanted to get up there to check on all the ellies, see the status of the bush and have some grounding time. I also wanted to see how Moyo was faring, as I had a strong feeling that I just needed to be with her for a little while.
The bush has transformed into a luxurious, green beauty queen, after having suffered from a brutal drought in 2024. Although the rains are late this year, there has been good run off and hopefully the undergound water will have been replenished.
The overarching Teak trees were in bloom, with their delicate lilac flowers. The pans were overflowing into wetlands of grasses and reflections of the sky. There was dense foliage beneath the canopy of the trees, layers of vegetation fully alive with activity. Impala babies, sun kissed and firm in their youth, were in abundance. Giraffe, zebra, waterbuck, kudu, warthogs were all calm and merrily filling their tummies. Butterballs, every single one!
The earth was a dark rusted colour, magnificently saturated with natural pigments, Burnt Sienna and Nickle azo gold… An artist’s heaven!
The highlight of the trip and an important moment of being happened on my first night, when I intuitively realized that it was now safe to hug Moyo. In that minute time of sensing our places, we were finally one again. She remembered. She had forgiven me. She loved me.
On that first evening, I waited until there was no one around. It was just starting to darken to dusk. The Boma was silent, except for the occasional elephant wind and grinding of brick-sized molars. I sat and watched and absorbed it all for a while, then stood up, walked straight up to Moyo, offered her a biscuit and she took my hand. I went in for the hug. She clasped my hand with her trunk and drew it into her mouth, enveloping my battered hand in her mouth, sucking it like she has done since she was a tiny baby. I drew closer still, right up against her trunk and her tusks either side of my ribs, whispering words of love and secrets, examining her forehead of cracks and wrinkles, passing my hand over her scars
I was truly overcome. I was silently weeping. She rumbled at me and her temporal glands started running. She held onto my hand, sucking gently as she dozed with her giant head on the fence. She was totally relaxed and at peace. As was I. I don’t mean to be too woo woo about this, but it felt like one of my finest moments. Not only was I forgiven, but I was loved, so deeply by this sentient being… the light somehow changed, my vision became tunnelled, nothing and no one else existed… the connection was complete.
Some of you may well be asking why was this so special? “Roxy lives with elephants and cuddles them daily?” Doesn’t she? Well, no, I have not cuddled Moyo in more than 18 months. I have been too frightened.
In 2023, after Moyo had her terrible accident during her translocation to Panda Masuie, I stayed in the bush with Moyo and her handlers. I lived in a one-man tent, right next to her boma, together with a small and elite team of Carers. We were nursing her 24 hours a day, so severe were her injuries and subsequent consequences of the injuries. She was exhausted, in pain and frustrated. Bewildered. We were literally willing her to live.
Early one morning, she snapped and threw me backwards a few meters. I still do not know why, but I suspect she was angry and in pain. It was still dark and she perhaps needed to lash out at someone close to her. We have all been in that situation, no?
The ultimate result of that incident was that I nearly lost my life from complications from a broken rib. More than that, I had lost my courage.
Losing one’s courage is a very alarming and paralysing phenomenon. All reason disappears and fear becomes the over-ride. I was physically unfit for many months, but continued the care of Moyo. However, to her great frustration, I would not go close enough to hug her or allow her to grab me. I was always behind a fence.
I have a fairly well developed sense of intuition and each previous visit, over the past year, I have tried to go in close to her, but always, frustratingly, pulled back at the last minute. Something was always “off”. Perhaps it was just a figment of my imagination, but I did not feel safe. I was heartbroken that my sacred bond with her had been broken.
This time, however, I arrived in Panda with a sense of excitement, renewal and expectation. I was positive… childlike in my enthusiasm and wonder at the beauty of the transformed earth. I just had a feeling that the wheel had turned, the cycle was coming to pass and that all was well.
After that initial connection, I had many more occasions for snuggles. I went down to the dam to watch the ellies frolick in the water and Moyo came striding purposefully across to greet me. The Carers were a little concerned, but I was completely relaxed. The past couple of years had fallen away and she was back to Moyo! A very mighty and large Moyo, I may add! There are some pictures of my encounter with Moyo at the dam, which I am happy to be able to share with you. Enjoy!
In the future, we will be publishing some video recording of my thoughts and memories from that terrible time. However, I will wait a bit before we get into the nitty gritty of that period. For now, though … all is well.
That connection will remain forever. I will guard it with my life, whether it is physical or nebulous. She is my light. She is my life.
Until next time …
Love
Rox xxx
PS. In March we are going to be starting some paid subscription only posts. I know this is frustrating for those of you who are on free subscription, but don’t stress too much! The cost of a couple of cups of coffee will give you full access to our writing and news. And, of course, we will share some freebie posts too!
All of the funds that you spend on substack go straight into our conservation efforts, so whilst you read, you know that you will be feeding a baby ellie, or protecting a wild Bull! We thank you, SO much!
PPS I am told that your subscriptions are tax deductible too, in many countries! More on that in a future post.
After all the trauma Moyo and you have both been through, I have wondered if this moment would ever come. How miraculous that it has! It was so brave of you to do this Roxy, to trust in your intuition and to trust in Moyo. What an incredibly moving and beautifully-written article! The profound connection you have with Moyo, your fellow matriarch, has started a new chapter. My heartfelt thanks for sharing this most extraordinary of journeys with us.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful love and reconciliation story! The photos, video and your description of the external and internal setting made a place I have never seen and beings I have never met (yet!) come alive for me. In these fraught times, it is so important to be reminded of all the beauty and goodness that exist.